“My Life Was In Dire Need of a Ctrl+Alt+Delete” –Anne Taintor

The summer of 6^th grade was a rough one for me. I broke the heart of a boy for the first time, moved to a new neighborhood, started my awkward middle school phase, and got my first bad haircut. You see, ever since I moved from Pennsylvania to Texas I had been working incredibly hard at growing out my bangs. They were in my way, always needed to be trimmed, and more notably outdated. The very week that they were long enough to fit into my pony tail; I cut them.

(Afterthought : what the Eff did I do that for?!?)

After the first cut, you can’t go back. Not to mention, I further decided to offset my throwback bangs by adding blond highlights and layers. Well, those subtle natural looking highlights ended up forming an almost solid layer of yellow around my once brown head, ANDDDD the layers made me look like a mix between a shaggy dog and Farrah Faucet. Can you please envision the horror of my roots as they grew out because mother refused to let me dye my hair back?

WORST PUNISHMENT EVER!!!

{for those who think seeing is believing, here is visual proof… Don't let the smile fool you, my attitude was worst than those sunglasses!}

If I would have known then that were more traumatic situations I would have to live with a lot longer, I probably wouldn’t have cried for nights and nights over my drastic hairdo.

Turns out, as we mature and progress down our paths of life, we are faced with more things that we don’t get a chance to undo; things that time, a bottle of hair dye or a baseball cap can’t fix after they are damaged. Things like misspoken words, life threatening diseases, and Mother Nature’s lovely polka dot pattern on my thighs also known as cellulite. (Though for arguments sake, I am pretty sure that is a gift from the devil and not the one that adorns herself in Prada).

Sometimes you don’t get a second chance, yet security in always doing things right the first time isn't guaranteed either. I don’t believe there has to be a cure in order for you to be healed, nor do I believe that everything happens for a reason. I do, however, believe that there is good in all things. My “new” hair, for instance, was atrocious, but my mother still has the picture in a frame – saved for a good laugh on a bad day. This I am certain.

Fortune-It

As Beth Moore would agree, a great week means the menu has included Mexican food at least 3 times. (Clearly my favorite) My third favorite cuisine is any type of Asian and everything else ties at second place. Therefore, you can imagine my vast, utterly indescribable enthusiasm when I was informed that a bachelorette dinner for my friend Jennifer got moved from Uncle Julios to P.F. Changs.


As everyone’s order was being taken, I simply asked for a cocktail and four fortune cookies. As our waiter, Matt, questioned if that was all I wanted, I answered yes. Thinking the conversation was over, he informed me that normally there was a STRICT policy of only ONE fortune cookie per customer. I simply replied in my sweet, southern voice, “But Matt… I would like to be fortunate enough to choose my own fortune.” And so guess what? He brought me 5! And all five were pretty cliché- Bummer!

Since telling my friends of this event and my new love of fortune cookies, each time they order Chinese food, they are sure to pick up a fortune cookie for me and either deliver it or take a picture and text me my fortune. Last night was one of those times. Allow me to be completely transparent with you, my life has been a whirlwind of mass chaos and lots of tough situations. I even prayed (despite feeling as though I am on mute most of the time) that these decisions would work itself out because the stress and challenge of correctly assessing each one laid before me was simply too much. Then a series of events started to occur, similar to a domino effect, but in the worst of worse ways. I should have learned from Teddy Roosevelt’s shoe dilemma that when we allow the cobblestone to make choices for us, we end up having one shoe with a round toe and the other toe a square. I didn’t though.

So last night, once again wishing a magician would make my troubles disappear right along with his white, fluffy rabbit and thanks to friends ordering take out, I opened a fortune cookie. It read, “nothing is more difficult and therefore more precious, than to be able to decide.” My jaw dropped faster than Usain Bolt can sprint 100 yards. It was most certainly a wake up call and about as pleasant as one. Looks like those cliché fortunes that P.F. Changs was gracious enough to make an exemption for, will come in handy as they read,

1. “you discover treasures where others see nothing unusual”

2. “a true friend in the market is greater than money in the purse”

3. “don’t put off till tomorrow what can be enjoyed today”

4. “emotions can be sweet and sour, so can your meal” (or drink,in my case; a cherry vodka sour)

What happens next is the scariest part- the recoil, aftermath, and damage to be incurred by those affected. The bright side, being able to decide while I am still fortunate enough to have some grasp of control. Not to mention, last time this same wave of excitement came crashing down on the shores of my reality when receiving tragic restaurant news, I discovered the greatness that is a fortune cookie.

And so the fifth fortune (that I was surprised with) will be my action plan, “time heals all wounds, keep your chin up.”

Better Late than Never

I know what you’re probably thinking… TIMEOUT! {in Zack Morris voice, of course} this is February not January. We are already a month into the New Year and you are just now posting this?! The answer is yes. I chose to take an entire month to reflect on E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G that is happened over the course of the past year. I have established a lot, but what I want to share is lessons learned and goals that will help aid me in forward progression to the person I desire to be.


Ten Lessons Learned in 2010

1. The hottest fires create the toughest steel.
2. If I don’t make a decision, someone else will make it for me.
3. A heart can be broken, but will beat just the same.
4. It is an heiress biggest sin to be boring.
5. I will hurt the people I love the most.
6. Forgiveness is a big word and so is love.
7. No matter how much I change, I will pay the price for the wrong that I’ve done.
8. Disclosed feelings and open communication lead to stronger relationships and more happiness.
9. It is never okay to give up apart of myself to become a part of someone else.
10. The start of faith is at the end of my comfort zone.

Eleven Goals for 2011

1. Use the word love sparingly {thanks, Claire!}
2. Take the time to understand myself.
3. Be diligent in devotionals daily.
4. Save more, spend less.
5. Simplify.
6. Don’t major on the minors.
7. Find a career path that aligns with my values not my lifestyle choices.
8. Treasure relationships, and allow others to break down walls I have built.
9. Take one day at a time. And I really mean just one not 10 or 15.
10. Keep my car cleaned out.
11. Start running again for me. {know it may be cliché, but I just had to include it}



Note: I have discovered that while I post this I am being somewhat of a hypocrite to myself because just the other day I told a friend that I was simply only going to make monthly goals so that I actually attain them. However, I feel it’s just as important to have overall yearly goals too. Creating more opportunities for success… can one really argue that philosophy?! {rhetorical question…don’t answer that!}

Thank God for Good Directions... and Mister Jeeves

North, South, East, and West are the Cardinal Directions known to almost all mankind, I presume. These are the four words I cannot function with successfully. You see, I am what some call “directionally challenged.” And I SOOO wish I wasn’t.


To me, down was South and up was North. Now you can understand why Jeeves (my GPS) was the best gift I have ever received. Jeeves is amazing- I just tell him where I need to go, if I want to avoid toll roads, and if I want the fastest distance or shortest route… then calculating… and we are off! May I also mention the absolute greatest thing about Jeeves is that even when I mess up he redirects me without a hitch.

I have come to appreciate Jeeves over the years, it’s the nicest thing to buckle up and know I have guidance on the road. The road of life, however, is a different story. You see even Jeeves needs for me to indicate where I want to go. Honestly, sometimes that’s the most difficult part of my journey- I don’t know where to go from here.

Normally, I am decisive. And if I cannot decide something even after wise counsel is sought, then I base my decision on something I feel is rational. For example, recently I needed to paint my entire house. Since it would literally cover the E-N-T-I-R-E thing, I wanted to pick the right color. Everyone I had asked said “its up to you”… Well dang! I narrowed it down to three choices… China Doll, Mushroom, and Plateau. Here is how I decided:

1. I don’t like China food, therefore I cannot pick a paint color representative of that country.
2. Mushrooms… kinda mushy, a fungus, and I ALWAYS pick them off my supreme pizza. So surely I cannot pick that for my house.
3. I like the name, representative of where I am in life. Stable, capable of new heights yet if I fall it may have damaging potential.

You guessed it… my house is plateau. And I am fond of it.

Another time my “method” successfully worked was my first year of playing in a college football pool. There was this thing called “spread” – not like how you would smooth butter on toast, but a point spread. I had little time to learn nor very much interest, but wanted to participate in order to impress a gentleman. The whole season I decided that I would choose teams based on cities I preferred to shop in… and it resulted in second place! That is like the Super Bowl runner up.. *Woot!* However, some just mayyyyy consider that luck.

I assure you, there are times that my choices can’t be justified by a sporadic method that I create off a whim and I sure can’t follow my heart (thing has a mind of its own! Not to mention is more stubborn than the managers at The Limited who don’t let me use all my coupons). These are the days I feel like Pocahontas as she sits under Grandmother Willow with her spinning compass. What do you do when your needle won’t stop and decide on which direction you’re headed? What if the magnetism in it is messed up and it takes you on a TOTAL wrong path?

The answer is simple… throw it out cause you shouldn’t clutter your house with broken things.

I learned over the last 8 weeks in my Bible Study is that my life is not left to chance and sure not up to some device that requires satellites to be acquired. In fact, I am the daughter of the King of Kings, and He wouldn’t let me or any of his children remain lost. He is greater than any GPS; He is in charge of where my life is currently and what steps I need to take to get where He needs me to go. He is also in charge of my directionally challenged self, and when I miss a turn He doesn’t always require me to recalculate in order to get me back on track. Sometimes, He just needed me to take the next exit to properly fulfill His divine plan.

As thankful as I am for Jeeves, “luck,” and guided counsel… I am most thankful for a God who will take the wheel when I can no longer maintain control.

"Ray Charles can see your control issues" -Richard from Texas, Eat Pray Love

I asked myself, “do you know what you’re getting into?”


Wanna know a secret? The answer was no.

I was wishing and hoping and praying that it would become the best thing that ever happened to me.

Turns out, I gambled fully knowing that the house almost always wins.

Not completely out of character, but I became someone I never thought I would.

College football aside, I’ve always preferred a stable investment over a risk. I choose outcomes that I am certain of. That’s why I pick shoes over blackjack. And, if indeed, I’m feeling dangerous, I would pick poker over roulette because at least there is a little bit of control granted instead of relying entirely on luck.

This was not the case. I threw out every ounce of common sense and dove head first into what turned out to be the shallow end of the pool. My world turned upside down, a complete 180.

I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, but I am. I shouldn’t eat bad, but sometimes I do. I shouldn’t do a lot of things, but this surpassed them all. I risked everything I ever had for a chance to play a game. And it back fired.

And what’s worse? I‘m not sorry. I put all my effort into climbing a ladder that was attached to the wrong building. I didn’t know at the time. How could I have known when I wasn’t certain then or even now of what I expect? Only am I certain of what I hope for. And ladies and gentleman let me tell you, hope is my worst strategy to date.

I am Humpty Dumpty. Utterly afraid to get back on the wall for fear of failing to put myself back together again, yet I will do it anyway.

Because the only thing worse than a high risk, is taking no risk at all.

"If I Were a Guy, I'd be a Delta Chi"

It was October 2004. I was living in a dorm off Lindsey Street in Norman attending the University of Oklahoma (you know, the school that just beat Mack Brown and his Texas Longhorns?!). There was this girl who I instantly looked up to immensely. She always dressed in the cutest clothes, make up near flawless, and not a hair out of place. She was one of those girls who could wear workout clothes and hair in a sloppy pony tail and guys would still stare at her as if she were a brilliant fireworks display over Epcot. She was completely put together, organized, social and eloquent in her speech. And did I mention we were forbidden to be friends because she was my TA? Luckily for us, we felt friendship trumped the rules.


She introduced me to a lot of great things that year: Gamma Phi oreo dessert, Highway 9 runs, Catch Phrase, her roommate, Rusty’s, how to really study the night before a public speaking final and a fabulous fraternity called Delta Chi aka some of my favorite guys on the entire planet—scratch that… Solar System! Me and Miss P loved them so much that we proudly sported non-fitted t-shirts in every color that read, “If I Were a Guy, I’d be a Delta Chi.”

When it comes to them, the phrase “out of sight, out of mind” simply does not apply. Just because it has been a while since I have seen them, does NOT mean I don’t think of them often.

Fast forward to October 2010… Just this past weekend (most important weekend of the year… OU/TX game, Miss P’s birthday, and girlfriend time), I was reunited with the group (almost in its entirety). I am pretty sure when I first ran into Mr. Bench— I screamed louder than a 6 year old at a haunted house for the first time. Then we ventured upstairs… and there they were… all sitting around a table: Cody, Nicholas, Brad, Sam, Tyler, and Adam. With Nic Bench in the mix, I was fairly certain I could claim that I spent most of the evening socializing with the World’s 7 Greatest Wonders. Then just a few hours later, was blessed with the presence of JFray and GJ just a bar away. Best part? It was as if no time had past; we simply picked up right where we left off. Just instead of being at Coach’s or the house off of Lahoma, we were sitting at Renfield’s in Uptown (apologize for the accuracy of spelling, its how Cody text it to me).

This group of guys is anything but average. There is NEVER a dull moment, probably one of their greatest assets… especially since I love things that sparkle and shine. This is the epitome of their personalities; they are the essence of fun. They are captivating, charming, and charismatic. Not to mention, me and my dear friend, Lady S’ abs hurt for an entire day after that night from laughing SO hard.

Similar to that one dress you could never afford, the linger of “the one that got away,” the best diet chocolate cake dessert you’ve ever tasted, a great football game, a grand fireworks display, a friendship that withstands the test of time or a night with the Delta Chi's… I have learned that sometimes no matter how far out of sight something is, no matter if Kodak couldn’t even capture the memories… It doesn’t mean that they are out of mind. In fact, it’s those things I seem treasure those the most.

Just Like Guinevere

“It is rare that one can see in a little boy the promise of a good man, but one can always see in a little girl the threat of a woman.” I can’t remember who said that, but I agree wholeheartedly. In fact, not much about me has changed since childhood. I look just about the same; long brown hair, blue eyes, muscular legs. I have an independent spirit, am a little spastic, sometimes sassy and genuinely care a lot about people. I’ve even had the same goal ever since I was a little girl…To rule the world.

Since I’ve aged (just a bit), I have learned that in order to rule anything, there has to be a set of guidelines, expectations and more importantly beliefs. Therefore, I have spent my life formulating these three credentials. I will not bore you with guidelines and expectations; however, I will share with you my beliefs (note: some assistance provided in making my list). Afterall, Gavin preaches that belief makes things real… and true. Though I understand not all of my beliefs will be supported by the masses.

Here it goes…

I believe…

• in short days and long soirée
• in old friends who keep older secrets
• that happiness begins with dessert
• in the power of a little black dresses
• in the highest potential of people even if they never achieve it
• one should always over dress and never under dress
• pumps supersede flats
• one can never go wrong with pearls… unless you’re going to a Drake concert
• one should never put off buying tomorrow what you could be wearing today
• when you can’t impress them with personality, dazzle them with accessories
• a hand up isn’t as hard to take as a handout
• charm is the key to everything
• make the most of who comes and the least of who goes
• nothing is more alluring than a good sale except maybe the sex appeal of a man
• too many times people follow the line of least resistance, but a good line is hard to resist
• hating people won’t make you pretty
• there is a song lyric for every situation life throws at you
• value instantly increases on anything you are told you can no longer attain
• the grass isn’t always greener
• silence is a girl’s loudest cry
• genies shouldn’t limit wishes
• it is better to be looked over than over looked

Confession! Just a few paragraphs ago, I lied. A lot has changed about me since I was a little girl… maybe not the foundation of who I am or my basic look, but I have indeed changed. Even in the past few months I’ve changed… A LOT-- some for the good, some for the bad.

“For as much as she stumbles, she’s running…. For as much as she runs, she’s still here... May the damage of her days disappear…” Thanks Eli Young for writing lyrics for my situation right this very minute. Notice: what I am about to share is my most important belief of all:

I believe above all else, everything I am NOT makes up everything I am.

Just because I wander, doesn’t mean I am lost. I’m still here. It’s still me. Grown up, learning, and more ready than ever to rule the world… Well, maybe not THE world, but at least MY life!