Wanna know a secret? The answer was no.
I was wishing and hoping and praying that it would become the best thing that ever happened to me.
Turns out, I gambled fully knowing that the house almost always wins.
Not completely out of character, but I became someone I never thought I would.
College football aside, I’ve always preferred a stable investment over a risk. I choose outcomes that I am certain of. That’s why I pick shoes over blackjack. And, if indeed, I’m feeling dangerous, I would pick poker over roulette because at least there is a little bit of control granted instead of relying entirely on luck.
This was not the case. I threw out every ounce of common sense and dove head first into what turned out to be the shallow end of the pool. My world turned upside down, a complete 180.
I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, but I am. I shouldn’t eat bad, but sometimes I do. I shouldn’t do a lot of things, but this surpassed them all. I risked everything I ever had for a chance to play a game. And it back fired.
And what’s worse? I‘m not sorry. I put all my effort into climbing a ladder that was attached to the wrong building. I didn’t know at the time. How could I have known when I wasn’t certain then or even now of what I expect? Only am I certain of what I hope for. And ladies and gentleman let me tell you, hope is my worst strategy to date.
I am Humpty Dumpty. Utterly afraid to get back on the wall for fear of failing to put myself back together again, yet I will do it anyway.
Because the only thing worse than a high risk, is taking no risk at all.
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